Alarm bells.

I got a scan which revealed no break or fracture – just an excruciatingly sore foot that requires crutches. I didn’t even think of pulling out of the shows – which is proof of something… stupidity I think. I was pretty bummed out about it given how great this tour has been – I really wanted to go out on a high on the final leg and WA is a great place to play live music.

The mind is willing...

Tonight is soldout in Fremantle and the venue, Mojos, has a lot of character. Everyone forgets that Sydney is 3 hours ahead so when we’re on stage at 11pm, it’s actually 2am our time (usually the first show on the WA run is a mixture of delusion, exhaustion and exhileration). None of this matters, the crowd is great – and sympathetically scream as I hobble onto stage on crutches – my debut crutches performance. Horrorshow play a massive set – one of their best.

Due to an accommodation slip, we’re staying at a backpackers tonight. We wind down outside as an Israeli, a Japanese and an Australian discuss world politics. Brings back memories of life on the backpacker curcuit – I have a sudden urge to rob them of their Thai fisherman pants and read ‘The Beach’.

Luke Snarl - indefatigable soundman

Onto Bunbury! The Prince of Wales is a classic venue with a classic publican, Mitch. Mitch “doesn’t believe in riders” so he disregards any written requests (as are included in artists contracts) but he happily provides most of whatever you request in person. Our backstage is upstairs in the pub accom and we have to decline bongs from a few Aussie hip hop fans also staying upstairs, shirts off, already cutting loose.

Me: “Sorry fellas, we’ve got to do the show .”

Bloke: “Awwright, afterwards then?”

Me: “We’ll see how we go.”

Bloke: “Sick cunt!”

Bunbury is always wild. One guy drunkenly spilt bourbon across a number of our tees on the merch stand and then stumbled off, only later to return and demand a discount on a fresh tee. Most of us are fairly sober, but some of our clientele are drunk as maggots – it’s an awesome dynamic.

Back to Perth and our final show of the tour at the Amplifier Bar. We’re clashing with Phrase, Pearl Jam and Ladyhawke tonight so there’s no guarantees except the party afterward. Mondo has worked with Urban Monk to create his own song about tour managing, featuring autotune and synth hip hop production – and performs it unannounced onstage as a surprise for us at the end of soundcheck. We fall about the venue laughing!

Horrorshow rockin' Amps!

Amplifier turns out! We pretty much sell the venue out and the vibes is heavy – we spot Drapht kickin it with his lady and it turns out to be the perfect show to close it all out. Cameras are flashing constantly – our touring party madly trying to capture the last moments before the tour finishes. We conclude the night with an all-in jam session and everyone, including Mondo, joins us onstage dancing to our final track.

Solo, Chips, Gusto (back), Urban Monk, Mondo, Cam, Adit & me

Urth & Chizzzle

Big up Urban (Polo Club)

Solo is mos def in the house in 2009

What would J Dilla do? Elgusto killed it on this tour

Absinthe (?) is hectic.

We fly home slightly less energetic.

Thanks to all the people that came to the shows for making this tour so great!

A slight sense of pessimism has crept into the camp for tonight’s show in Coolangatta – it’s the first of two tests of how much we’d suffer with the Hilltop Hoods playing the same town that weekend. There is a massive storm forecast and things are a little grim. I learnt years ago as a touring artist during tough nights on the road, the fine art of downplaying any success. With this revised sense of doom, you’re generally fairly satisfied with any result, and chances are you’re even happy! Tonight was a perfect example. 200 odd people in a 950 person room is not quite a “roaring success” but we killed the merch once again, and the people were in devastating form for a Thursday.

After doing a live rendition of Ready to Go on Nova, we almost couldn't contain ourselves

Next night is Brisbane and boom, we directly clash with The Hoods – who’ve sold 4500 tickets to their show up the road. Scheduling clashes are inevitable – the only question is the extent and seriousness of the clashes. On the Spitshine tour to date, we’ve clashed with the Obese Block Party, Phrase and Snob Scrilla (twice) as well as the Hoods. Fortunately we’ve done really well each time, but tonight is the BIGGIE. Taking this into account, you may have seen me and my diligent manager Mondo handing out flyers at the front of the Hoods show as it finished – an hour before I was supposed to be on stage! Dignified and cut down to size, we got back to The Zoo and were stoked to see it just shy of soldout. An amazing night compounded by the fact that we’d succeeded against all odds.

Horrorshow live via phone camera rocking the Zoo

Nat Dunn joined us in Bris - here she is with Urban Monk & Cam from Polo Club as well as Ms Janey Chips

The drive to the Sunshine Coast is a nice one, but the water temperature once we got there and swum was fucking fantastic.

Gusto & Adit - that right there calls for a celebration

Our expectations for tonight are high – we’re in a room that fits 350 and we’ve sold 280 presales – little did we know there’d be 300 walkups and they’d somehow fit 600 into the venue, as well as turning 50 more away. WTF?! The definition of loose is underlined, bolded and then pummelled to a Sunny Coast pulp. We conclude the evening with an impromptu car party – we blasted the speakers and everyone started dancing around the vehicle. A stack of punters waiting for cabs came and joined in and soon enough it was on for young and old. We eventually cleared off for a 3am swim in the local beach.

Returning our one way hire car to Maroochydore airport, we all reflected on next week being the last week of the tour…

We collected our hire car and packed our belongings for Wollongong Uni quietly confident that tonight’s ‘End of Session’ party was going to be pretty large. It turned out to be a more sedate affair: ‘End of Session’ means the end of classes and the start of exams. A fair few people tempted fate and shunned their studies for us, and for that, we love you. Then we left.

Arriving home at 2.30am the night before meant the 7am wake-up for the Albury flight was red-eyed and memorable. I really love the randomness of check-in: ‘will we get charged for excess this time?’ or ‘will we get someone who sympathises and is kinda excited that we’re in a band and asks “which band are you”, only to draw a blank when we say Urthboy and Horrorshow?’ We proceed through the x-ray and see if they don’t choose Adit to test for explosive devices – his browner skin means he’s usually last to the shitty airport coffee stand.

ROI Bar Albury feat. Timmy

Albury hasn’t changed much since our last visit, the crowd are loose and excellent tonight – buying way more merch than is reasonable for 200 people. We last spot Solo clearing off into the night with a couple locals..

Next morning we dropped a very pale Solo to the airport in the safekeeping of Adit, while we drove to Canberra for the Stonefest Festival.

Someone get Solo some berocca or 10 hrs sleep

It must’ve been 35 degrees when we hit the stage and a big crowd braved the heat to check us out. Apart from us, Art vs Science and Josh Pyke, the lineup is all rock music and despite wanting a dose of Frenzal Rhomb, we bailed out of there early..

Backstage Stonefest Art vs Science in background

And then everyone lived happily ever after…

Ahh Melbourne.

Tonight we’re in Ballarat and my man Rok Poshtya from The Herd tells me this is his favourite regional town to tour. The venue is Karova Lounge and memories of school excursions to learn about the gold rush period come to mind as we drive into town.

Behind enemy lines...

Left to right: Chips, Urban Monk & Adit. Mellow dudes love shooting innocent animals

Err.. what I was saying about mellow dudes..

To explain the dynamic of touring is kinda hard and despite years of gigging I can never quite explain the state of mind or the intensity of being on tour to friends. Tonight is no exception, halfway through my show I’m handed a phone with the message ‘My brother was coming to the show but died earlier this week, could you please dedicate a song to him’.

Damn.

It’s tricky coming up with words on the spot to deal with that – but later in the show we dedicate a song that we think will somehow go out to friends and family of the fella.

Next day we head into Melbourne and expectations are high. It’s no secret that Melbourne is the capital cultural centre of Oz and I love coming down here and doing good shows – it feels almost like impressing that really cool girl in school until she wants to go out with you. But once you win her over and she’s all hot for you, you bail the fuck outta there like nobody’s business! I felt like losing a limb or damaging something in order to seal the deal tonight – I think I came out ok with only a few muscle strains. We had the trifecta of guests, Lior, Mark Pearl and Mantra join us.

Me, Pearly, Lior and Chips

But the really memorable aspect of the night was the electricity in the air – it was for me, the highlight of the tour and an unforgettable gig. We try not to do any half-hearted shows EVER but tonight we lifted into a new spot and it was fucking thrilling. Thanks Melbourne, you’re a sweet lass. The conclusion to the night was ridiculous, in the lamest way possible – our after party consisted of no music and a bunch of us chillin’ out in the hotel room. It seems the greatness of the gig suffocated all the excitement and celebration out of the night so we kinda ran outta steam post show. I’m cool wit dat.

Exhausted, we drove to Frankston for our show at the Pelly Bar. Despite the perceptions that a fair few Melbournians have about Frankston (each time we mentioned we were going there), we had a great time despite being mere shadows of ourselves. The gig itself was a cracker and the backstage area was a party zone… this photo kinda betrays it was a fairly sleepy party zone.

Gusto in hype man mode

Mondo, our insufferable tour manager and all round good guy navigated us back to Melbourne that night and we got up again to….

…drop off a car at an airport where we boarded a plane, took off and landed at another airport where we picked up another car and drove to another concert.

Fat as Butter Festival in Newcastle.

Genuinely one of my favourite places to tour after years and years of gigs at the Cambridge Hotel, Panthers, Leagues Club, Star Hotel and more.. We played to a lively crowd against the backdrop of Grinspoon and I almost slipped and fell offstage myself during Spitshine (injuries, near death experiences – there’s been more than our fair share on this tour). We must’ve done ok as we sold almost 60 items on the merch desk. That night we drove home in one of those ‘THIS IS REALLY FARRRRCKED UP!’ thunderstorms where rain is so furious that the car seems to buck at the constant smashing of water on its frame.

We arrived home safely. Thanks Mondo.

Mid north QLD looking both ways

Rockhampton is on fire. Literally. Bushfires are burning outta control on the outskirts (in a few days we’d hear news that whole neighbourhoods would be evacuated) and the trees, streets and even the local Vinnies store are bone dry. But pressingly, our soundcheck drags on unproductively until it becomes clear that the PA company decided to bail on tonight so the two girls who handle the show have kittens while our soundy Luke tries to make do.

The venue window reveals nothing of the panic of the missing PA

An hour before the show, a guy from the local theatre pops in for one beer before heading home – and once informed of the situation – manages to hook up the gear we need from an alternative company. This is treated as a miracle and we almost bow down to him. We’ll pretty much bow down to anything at this point. The show is a 180 degree flip on our expectations – the crowd go buckwild – jumping and flaying limbs in unison to ‘The Clocks’ (one of the more downtempo tunes in the set). Ok it’s clear, Rocky fucking rocks. I can’t recall how many times I get told that we’re the 3rd hip hop group to ever play there. Onto Mackay…

If you remember, a few weeks ago The Herd pulled out of a gig in Mackay and I was told not to come by certain err, fans, so I admit I was a little nervous about the show. It was kinda eery driving through the areas that were the subject of a national news story involving us only recently but once at the show, the crowd was mad. I talked with a bunch of people who were concerned, but respected our views and hands were shaken all round. Mackay is just as the sign says..

Tour manager Mondo gets in the spirit

The drive between Mackay and Townsville is crazy: cane trains; burning sugarcane fields; towering mountains; rusty old factories and sugar mills and little towns with 2 pubs and one general store.

Cane train with about 15 carriages

We’re in no hurry and manage to stop off in Bowen for a swim which leaves my ears blocked for 5 days. Tonight’s show is another mystery – the original venue closed on us a few weeks ago, in the process cancelling a guaranteed fee and free production (PA etc). The show’s replacement is the Andergrove Tav and we have no guarantee and we have to bring in production – which is over a grand – add on the fact that we haven’t had much time to spread the word of the new venue, and you have a tentative touring party.

Maybe it’s the low expectations, but tonight is awesome – we have a very decent crowd and they’re keen as. The enthusiasm at the last few QLD shows has been eye-opening and infectious. I get all but contracted to go out fishing and diving off the reef with two burly dudes that look like cops. Couldn’t take em up on the offer. All 30ish offers..

Last drive of the North QLD leg and it’s the most spectacular – you should do this sometime. The landscape has drifted from dry as a bone to lush and rainforesty and we drive through a bushfire that licked the edge of our car. Tonight we join up with Obese Records for their Block Party show (originally we were booked at different venues on the same night so we joined forces) which I’m looking forward to – a fair few Obese artists are good mates of ours.

Muph, Jane, Urth & Plutonic Lab

It’s my birthday and the crew have managed to get a cake delivered to our hotel room that is a replica of the shoe on my album cover.

No way...?

Note thongs, we’re not in southern Aust anymore…

Solo, Gusto, Mondo & Chips Tyzzle

Tonight’s gig is predictably carnage – the Obese lads make sure of that but we go down an absolute storm with the locals. Muph & Pluto kill it to conclude the night.. Somehow I’m photographed dancing on a podium and we depart for more drinks and late night swimming – how we didn’t get kicked out is beyond me.

The after after party at the airport

Then miraculously…

Cheerin and dancin at Sydney airport

This kinda sums up the Spitshine tour… mad vibes everywhere and the energy is brimming.

Looking forward to Melbourne next week…